My plan was to get rid of, primarily, Helena and Shana – the ugliest of Daniel Collie’s children.  They had inherited the unattractive features of their grandmother.  Getting rid of them would leave their two husbands who weren’t required either.  They also hated each other and kept fighting.  So the plan was to get them into a locked room with a barbecue and let them burn to death.  I was about to put this plan into action when Grant Kim started a fire for me.

Fire

This was ideal as the four newlyweds were still on their honeymoon.  Unfortunately it took a while to get the four uglier ones into the kitchen.  By the time Helena got back from work and into the kitchen, the others had returned and run into the kitchen as well.  I tried to keep them away but with little success.

Fire growing

There were too many people in the small room and ones I didn’t want to die looked likely to die.  So I decided to call in the fire brigade.

Fire

Sean is dangerously close to burning to death and Deon was right next to him.

Finally the fire was extinguished.

End of the fire

I got the dirty newlyweds out of the kitchen and locked the door so the fuglies remained.  Now I could introduce the barbecue.

Barbecue

Shana was very tired so I got Helena to cook some sausages.  Before she did, she saw Shana asleep on her feet and laughed.

Laughter

Shana fell down but woke before she caught fire.

Fire 2

It was Helena who caught fire and died first.

Death

The rest danced around for a while.

Fire dance

Amazingly, Grant Kim (who started the first fire) survived the second fire as well.  He was close to starvation by now so I left him to it and he finally expired.  The others, meanwhile, had got hungry and ordered Chinese.

Starved

The delivery boy seemed upset about the dead body in the kitchen.

I haven’t yet decided on killing off perhaps Leon Collie or Nicholas Baena.  Later, perhaps.

Advertisements